Psychologist Alexandra Bowring shared some advice on how to address issues in the bedroom before they become a problem too big to solve.
Finding the right way to speak to your partner about struggles with sex and intimacy can be intimidating, no matter how long you’ve been together. Establishing non-judgemental and non-confrontational communication is a good place to start. Acknowledging you both may be feeling a bit awkward or unsure can also be beneficial.
“Sometimes we don’t have the skills and tools to know how to have these very open, vulnerable conversations, and we need to learn how to do I,” she said.
“It’s really helpful to just normalise that for people, that it is okay to talk about, but we need to learn the language and the communication in those areas.”
Alexandra said having pre-established questions can help prompt open communications.
Having a written question can be useful in beginning the conversation and getting to the core of what each individual wants and needs. She said it’s a conversation that everyone needs to learn to have as they age, but especially if there is a condition such as Parkinson’s that may impact intimate experiences.
“Any long-term relationship will eventually have a time where sex has to change and you need to be able to communicate about those changing needs as a couple,” she said.
“Communication is really the key and we communicate all the time but often when we’re getting to areas that are very sensitive, we can’t find the right words suddenly, so using resources like that can help us find the right words.”
While changes to sex and intimacy are very common, your regular healthcare team may not ask you about this part of your life, so being proactive is important.
Alexandra understands how busy life can become and recommends making time for intimacy and conversations about it.
“Your relationship is like a garden, you need to nurture it. In any relationship we need to prioritise time together, sometimes we need to schedule into our diaries that type of intimacy,” she said.
“That can be conversations and that can extend into sexual intimacy.”
Alexandra said it is also important to remember that every relationship will go through changes to intimacy, not just those where a person is affected by Parkinson’s.
Learning at home
If you are after a more in depth understanding of how Parkinson’s affects sex and intimacy, Fight Parkinson’s has a new short course in our Community Learning Hub.
The course shares information about sexual function and Parkinson’s, dispels some common myths, and shares practical solutions for the changes you might be experiencing
Thie course is free for all members of the Parkinson’s community. If you are new to using the Community Learning Hub you can sign up using the code WELCOME. If you already have an account you can see the course on your home page. To get started, visit the Community Learning Hub landing page.
